does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
