Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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