it hurts more in the daytime
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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