I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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