So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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