you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
