Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
