Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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