actually, I'm a sock model
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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