I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
