Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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