why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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