That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
