planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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