it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
