Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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