I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
