As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
