I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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