You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
