babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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