In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
