just tell him i said nine months
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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