never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize