So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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