you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
worst night to have a conscience
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
