If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
