Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
