you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
