Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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