You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
