ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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