Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
