if only i could text you this smell
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize