never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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