girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
worst night to have a conscience
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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