do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
