So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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