I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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