THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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