my sisters under your porch take her home
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
