dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
