I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
