oh god the rape fog is back!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
