i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
