His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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