tell your sister to shave her snatch
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
