Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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