ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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