I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
