Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
