I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
