Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
