We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
