I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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