haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let's get the cat blown out
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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