do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
