Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
