He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
