the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
