My boss' voice literally gives me gas
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
