Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize