he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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