Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So much Jack, so little girl.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
